Last week, I recorded the vocals for 'Sit Back', the last track to make the cut for my upcoming EP, SATURN. As soon as I stepped away from the microphone, my chest tightened, my head became foggy and I was hit with an onslaught of indescribable feelings.
The only words that repeated in my mind were, "It's done."
I had always envisioned that moment to be the most delightful moment of my life, but it instantly became so bittersweet that Bobby (who produced and co-produced many of the tracks on the EP) had to give me some space in the studio to reflect and make sense of it all.
All I could think of was the awful things that happened in the journey it took to get to that point: from having to re-record the album 3 times because of issues with copyright or producers to losing nearly all of my friends, family and romantic relationships to writing while battling with depression, PTSD and anxiety...
In the midst of all of those things, though, were the beautiful, shimmering moments: finally building a team that believed in me including producers B.Morales, Satnam Singh Chatha and JT Aylward and welcoming healthy love and friendships into my life; laughing, crying, eating and sleeping in the studio while writing songs that I came up with in my dreams and that reflected my truth (thank you Dr. Jordan B Peterson); learning about myself and who I was rather than being what everyone else wanted me to be and pushing myself beyond limits that I didn't even know existed.
All these thoughts consumed my mind for a moment... and then pure excitement kicked in! It's not just a wish anymore. It is real.
SATURN is coming in 95 days!
Photo & Makeup by: Iuliia Pele
Dress by: Miss Beida